doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
