Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
