White coat. Heels.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
