maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
smell my finger.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
