Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
