we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
