It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
