im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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