woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
