I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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