tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
