That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
