oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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