i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
