i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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