how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
