he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
