He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
