I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
should my penis look like a turkey
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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