He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ok first of all what the fuck
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
