did you get engaged???
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
