epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
