what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
