The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
