they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just cropdusted the office
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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