He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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