i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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