Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
