Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
