Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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