Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
