don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
