i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
