I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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