I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
