break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
