some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
