Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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