is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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