What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
