And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We have started to decorate penises.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I want a musical about memes.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
