White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
