can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
