The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
