before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
