seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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