you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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