Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
