I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
