If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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