If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
