you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize