he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The uberlube is also flammable
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How naked do you want me to be?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
