addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
