Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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