This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
