my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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