yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
