Swine flu. Run for my life!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I deserve this hangover.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize