Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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