Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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