jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
