You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
