Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
