Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
